pathan ne pressure cooker kharida

pathan ne pressure cooker kharida
2nd day wapus kar diya
Shopkper:
Q wapus kr rahe ho
Pathan:
ghar me jawan jawan betiyan han or ye
sala seetiyan bajata hai

Night Ghazal

Koi ata hai yaad bahat sone se pehle.
Jo cheen leta hai Aansoo mere rone se pehle.
Ab neend bhi aaye to main sona nahi chahti.
Kisi Qeemat pe bhi Main us ko khona nahi chahti.
Ho jaye wo kaash mera,mujhe khone se pehle.
Jo aata hai yaad bahat sone se pehle.     
  *.__.*GOOD*

Pathan and Sardar

‎1 Darya k kinare 2 Sardar chamach se darya me Dahi daal rahe thay..

Pathan ne dekha to poochha: Khoocha yeh kya kar rahe ho...?

Sardar: Hum Lassi bana rahe hain.
Pathan: Ha Ha Ha... O pagal ka bacha, log isi liye tum par Lateefa banaate hain... Itna Lassi tumhara Baap piye ga!?

Before and After Marriage

Boy's Room before Marriage:

-Perfumes
-Love Letters
-CD Player & Cds.
-Greetings Cards.
-Air Freshner.
-Different Sims Along Different Pakages With 1 Mobile.
-Books of poetry
-PEACE.

After Marriage:

-Pain Killers.
-Loan Papers.
-Unpaid Electricity & Gas Bills.
-Medical Reports.
-Empty Wallet.
-Feeder, Nipple & Pampers, qarshi ka instant joshanda, ispghol ka chilka, qareeb aor door ki ainak, poly color, aor bed k sarhaney book "Maut Ka Manzar":

director to heroin

director"
to heroin "
tumhey 4 bunday pakrea'n ge,
to hero bachaye ga'
heroin"
hero kon???
director"
imraan hashmi<
heroin"te oday ko_lu menu kon bachaye ga

Sardar to doctor:

Sardar to doctor:
"mein susu subah 6 buje karta hon & poty 7 buje"Docter:
"tu es mein problem kya hai"?
Sardar :
"oo jee meri ankh 8 buje khulti hai"

Pathan

1 kabutar pathan ko tang kr rha tha, pathan ne usy pakar liya or usy mAarne ka faisla kr liya, wo usy chhath pe ly gaya
aur
wahan se neche phaink diya.

Tere wale

Ladki apne room me
baith kr zor zor se ro rhi
thi...
Maa ne ye dekha to
uske paas ayi aur boli..!
Maa: kya hua beti kyu ro
rhi ho, mujhe btao
main teri DOST hoon..
Beti rote huye..
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kya batau yar,
.
Apne wale ko milne gyi
thi,
.
Tere wale ne dekh liya
aur boht maara.. :-P

Degrees of girls!

Degrees of girls!
B.A.-Beautiful Angel
B.E.-Beautiful Eyes
B.Sc.-Beautiful Structure
B.Com-Beautiful Communication
M.B.A.-Married But Awesome!

Hav a happy last wéèk of dis yéar 2011

Dear January, how is February? Please tell March that April said May will be coming before June,
I heard that July is getting married in August,
how about September and her kids? Please send my greetings to October and don't forget to tell November that all my friends who read this will have a wonderful December again!!!....:) :)
Hav a happy last wéèk of dis yéar 2011 guyz. . .

Facebook Saves Life..

!!..Facebook Saves Life..!! :D

A depressed college Student went to Railway Track for Suicide .. :O

Train was Coming Closer and
... He Suddenly came out of the track and Said
.
.
.
''Oh Shitt !! Forgot to Update status In Facebook
that Im Gonna Die'' :D ♥

Budha Budhi Ki Kahani

Budha Budhi Ki Kahani
'
1 budha aya
saath me 1 budhiya ko laya
'
... Hotel me ja k waiter ko bulaya
'
Dono ne apna-apna order mangaya
'
Pehle budhe ne khaya
budhiya ne pankha hilaya
'
Fir budhiya ne khaya
budhe ne pankha hilaya
'

Ye dekh k Waiter sharmaya aur usne farmaya
'
Aye Laila Majnu k Maa Baap
'

.

Tum dono me itna pyar hai to khana 1 sath Q nahi khaya?
'

Is par budhe ne farmaya!!!
'
Hanso math budhe ne farmaya
'
Hehehe
Hans math yarr budha nai batayega fir
'

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.
budhe ne farmaya!!!
'
Beta tera sawal to nek hai
'
Par hmare pas Daanto ka set sirf ek hai…;

Urdu Joks

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Try to have fun

Try to have fun

I went to the store the other day, and I was in there for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was a motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, 'Come on, buddy, how about giving a guy a break?' He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres! So I called him a piece of horse shit. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket! This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My car was parked around the corner. I try to have a little fun each day. It's important.

Yes, You Are a Genius!

Yes, You Are a Genius!

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you'll begin to think you're a genius.

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(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.) Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," --Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." --Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," --Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." --Al Gore, Vice President

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix." -- Dan Quayle

"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?" --Lee Lacocca

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people." -- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." --Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas." --Keppel Enderbery

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." --Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Robot Bartender

A guy goes into a bar and there is a robot bartender. The robot says,"What will you have?" The guy says "Martini." The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168." The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology.

The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini". Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100." The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar. The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says, "So... you gonna cheer for the Leafs again this year?"

Wanna see a trick?

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues.

After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The rat again starts to pound out the blues on the little piano. The man reaches into another pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.

While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money.

"Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it." the man answered. "The frog was really nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."

Mexican Bunjee Jumping

Al and Joe are bungee-jumping one day. Al says to Joe, "You know,we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico. They don't have it there." Joe thinks this is a great idea, so they pool their money and buy everything they'll need; a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc. They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work. When they had finished,there was such a crowd they thought it would be a good idea to give a demonstration.

So Al jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up Joe notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, Joe isn't able to catch him, and he falls again, bounces and comes back up again. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again Joe misses him. Al falls again and bounces back up. This time he comes back pretty messed up, he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Joe finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

Barely able to speak, Al gasps, "No, the bungee cord was fine. It was the crowd, What the hell is a piñata?"

Pay Attention

First-year students at Med School were receiving their first anatomy class with a real dead human body. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have 2 important qualities as a doctor. The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the human body." For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth. "Go ahead and do the same thing,"! he told his students. The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt of the dead body and sucking on it. When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."